and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
