I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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