so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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