I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize