my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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