you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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