Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
