mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
