no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
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I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
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I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten