That's when you crack a 10am beer
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
