So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"