i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom