Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
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Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind