Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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