so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
