East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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