hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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