There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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