I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
