Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do herpes really smell.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
