I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
