You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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