Sponge bath it is.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
