are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
