so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
