There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
