i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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