bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
