She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
