It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
