just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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