Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
