i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
