1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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