No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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