Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
