A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm passing your future prison.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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