i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
