Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
