Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i think my cat just said my name.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
