It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize