I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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