just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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