I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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