We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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