i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
