I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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