I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
