At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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