Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
