When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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