I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
