remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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