Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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