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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize