on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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