It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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