Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize