i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
