Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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