You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
