he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
