this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
