if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
