I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
