Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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