GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
