I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
