Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
