I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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