If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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