i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Green mimosas i think yes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
