I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
