Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you would pick up someone in the library
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
