Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize